Mom, aka Treasure Hunter

I saw this on a friend's blog in a comment made on one of her posts. The phrase has stuck with me and has caused me to ponder the ideas it eludes to...a mother being a "treasure hunter"

I love it.

How true, that a blessed position of motherhood is that we are to seek out treasures for each and every day of our families.

I am reminded of another mother who did this, and did it well enough to have such a designation in scripture. Luke records that Mary, mother of Jesus was a Treasure Hunter ..

When the Magi brought Jesus the gifts, and honored him as the King ..she " treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19

When she had lost and then found a 12-year old Jesus sitting in the Temple talking to the teachers .."she treasured all these things in her heart". Luke 2:51

Since considering this idea, I have found lots of treasures of my own and have heard many spoken of by fellow Treasure Hunters ...treasures that I have found and heard of ..

* When my 5-year old prays for his daddy or baby brother or sister, to be safe and healthy
* When my 3-year old comforts another child who is hurting
* When a friend marvels are her 2-year old daughter, for her beauty and all that God has blessed her with
* When a previously infertile mother, basks in the genius of her 18 month old twin boys who recognized a "truck!" at the red light, just like the one from his truck book at home
* When a mother and grandmother boasts to a long-lost friend of all her offspring's achievements and strongest gifts
* When I watch my husband and boys wrestle on the floor before bedtime, and comforts the little one when he gets hurt
* When my 3 year old gives my other son the "best friend" designation
*When I see a daddy peeking at this infant son through the peep hole in the nursery door at church, to make sure he is okay

These are treasures to be pondered and considered in our hearts, so that we may never forget how wealthy we are!

May you dwell fervently on the treasures in your own life this week!

Happy Thanksgiving my sweet fellow Treasure Hunters!

The Measure You Use: Part 2

We can measure ourselves by others and the areas of strength we see in them. We can wrongly use them to make us feel less than worthy. We can create standards for ourselves that are not placed on us by God, or His word.

We can also do the same to others, or allow others to do so to us. Both of these, are difficult and oh so damaging to a right relationship with God and those He has placed in our lives.

First, when we create standards for ourselves based on either spirit-lead convictions or by other means (example of others, habits, new thinking, etc.) then place them on others ... we pridefully place ourselves in a position we do not belong.

Do you do this? Think about times when you look at others' choices they make, money they spend, the people they spend time with, the convictions they have, the behavior of their children, their marriages, their housekeeping ...do you look at them and measure them against your own successes, your own convictions, your own standards?

Are you using your own measure to judge others?

I know I find myself doing this, often without even realizing it. How unfair we can be to others, even if in our own minds.

If you have ever been on the opposite side of that, you know how damaging that can be as well. Have you ever been in the position to be the judged? Are you ever applied to the measure of someone else, and found to be wanting?

Do you have someone in your life who measures you by a standard that they have determined for themselves (whether Godly, spirit-led, or not) and makes sure you know you do not measure up?

Then, you know how difficult it can be for your spirit when that happens.


Remaining true to God's standards, and only God's standards, is only possible by constant prayer and by remaining in His Word. It must be a daily practice, so that we can remain in the Spirit which will help us see when we are creating standards for ourselves, others or are allowing others to place them on us.

Since realizing that I can confess to all of these, I have had my eyes opened to so many areas that need to return to God's guidelines and not mine or others'. I have found some freedom from standards that I did not need or deserve to be placing on myself and those around me. I have a long way to go, but I am learning :)

The Measure You Use

I think we can all agree that comparisons are not great for us. They can weigh unfairly on our hearts and minds and distract us from who God wants us to be, rather than who he created others to be.

Something even more dangerous than comparisons, though, but often related to them, is when we allow another's strengths, ideas, words, challenges, and methods to become a standard for our living, thinking, housekeeping, behaving, believing and being on a daily basis.

This is one of those things I realized recently and I cant believe I hadnt realized it before.

I realized that I have placed standards for methods or my consideration of things on myself, based on others.

It may be via example of friends who I see have mastery over an area (housekeeping, homeschooling, bible study, disciplining children), books I have read, inspiring blogs I follow, speakers I have heard, or the way my mom did it.

More than comparing myself to those things, I placed standards for doing those things on myself that were not necessarily a good thing. That is, because all of those basis for standards are human and sure to be imperfect. They are not always best for me, my family or my walk with God even when they often seem wonderful and inspiring. As such, I do myself such an injustice to measure me by those measures.

The areas I do this especially, are in the area of housekeeping. I know several gals in my circle, and follow several blogs and websites of woman to seem to have mastered this area I struggle with. I often hear the way they may do things, and thereby establish for myself that that is the "right" way to do it.

Whether its how often someone does laundry, when they do dishes, if they make their bed every day (not me!) ..whatever. When we allow them to be past the point of an example and make their way of doing it "the" way ..we take away from our own unique situation, strength, abilities and circumstances.

How about reading books, doing written bible studies? Do you ever do a bible study, read a godly book, listen to a christian speaker and walk away feeling challenged but also short of a standard of living for God? Certainly feeling challenged is a good thing, and there are many lessons to be learned from our brothers and sisters in Christ - but we should not let ourselves go so far as to allow those spirit-led words become scripture, and therefore worthy of basing a standard for living for God

Example, yes. Challenge, yes. Thought provoking, yes. Inspiring, yes. Encouragement, yes ...but taking the place of the only True Standard, we must resist.

As humans we are constantly learning, growing, changing, shifting, editing, adjusting, rewriting, reconsidering ...But, scripture and God do not.

Every writer, speaker, friend, blogger, mom/sister/mother-in-law or friend are human beings. Christian though they may be, even perhaps spirit-led in their guidance ...they are affected by their experiences, limited by their humanity. God, is not. Scripture, is not.

Even the most spirit-led person, can only be a supplement to the True Standard. The only standard we can count on being truly realistic, practical, timeless, truth-based ...is God's Word and the principles He sets up for us therein.


So, when you are chiding yourself for having dirty dishes in the sink ...remember that they didnt make the cut for the Ten Commandments :)

Thirst.

Our bodies were created to depend on water. Fifty to eighty percent of our bodies are made up of water.

Seventy percent of our world is water.

Water has been from the beginning, "Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." Genesis 1:2

Water is vital to our existence as human beings.

Our bodies let us know when we are short in this area, by giving us a thirst signal.

Interestingly, by the time you consciously feel thirsty, often you are already at 75% of your reserve hydration. If you ignore that signal, your body will eventually adjust. It will hold on to whatever water it can, through diet or otherwise. The thirst signal can fade into the distance of all the stimulation we receive everyday.

It is surprising though, that if you are someone who isnt a big water drinker and you decide to treat your body to a sip at some point, you find that your thirst signal that you may have ignored totally suddenly pushes itself to the forefront of your mind. Try it. You will find that, especially if you are not used to drinking alot of water, you will crave more water if you give yourself a little.

As you continue to treat your body to hydration, you will continue to thirst more and more. As your body gets used to getting water, it will spark that craving again, and the more water you drink the thirstier you may feel.

Our relationship with God is so similar.

I am sure that I am not alone in that often my heart and head desire a relationship with God more than my schedule shows. I often desire what I see others having, an intense relationship but peaceful relationship with God. I want to spend the time I know I need with God everyday, and yet I have a hard time finding the time to do it.

While on some level I feel motivated, I have a hard time making all my things to do fit the time and effort I need to put into my daily relationship with God.

Something that I have discovered, that God's word and the peace that comes with a love relationship with Him, has a thirsting affect on me.

Just like a sip of water to a parched body, when we offer God to our hearts, our hearts react with a primitive craving. The more time, effort and energy we give to that time with God, the more we want it.

Practically speaking, I have found that when I offer God the 15 minutes I can scrape together for the day, my spirit is sparked. I feel desirous for more. The next day, I find that it is not something I have to work for as much, but desire that 15 minutes and more. As I continue to feed my spirit with that Water which it was created for, my spirit feels motivated to continue to take in more.

Considering this, how well Jesus understands me ... "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John

7:48

If you are struggling with the desire and/or motivation to do what needs to be done to nurture that relationship with God, offer your spirit a sip. Just like your body in the very smallest cell, your spirit will begin to hunger for more.

Dont believe me? Try it.

Being Here

How often can we relate our stresses, or lack of peace with the fact that we are not where we want to be?

Perhaps its because we have a long list of things to do, and the thing you are doing right now isnt on it. Maybe you are doing something that you deem important, but your mind is plagued with things that seem even more important. Its possible that you are simply uncomfortable, feel inadequate to the task at hand or because you are not where you pictured yourself to be at this point in time?

We can lose alot of peace, and add alot of stress to ourselves when we do not look around and accept that sometimes, THIS is where we need to be.

If, indeed, we are seeking to do God's will in all things, seeking to glorify God in everything we do ..then we should allow ourselves a degree of peace that we are where we need to be.

Often, we are where God needs us, but we are so distracted with other things that we miss the intention of the moment or fail the task entirely. For example, when we are sitting on the floor with the kids ..are we really there? True, we are giving them the moment but are our minds already onto the next thing we need to be doing? When we are spending time with our husbands, no matter what the activity may be ..are we present there? When we are taking the time to encourage a friend, talk to a sister or lend an ear to a hurting person ...are we there, or mentally onto the next item on the list?

Jesus was always where he was. He took the time to engage the children, connect with an adulterous woman, heal a blind man ...he was on alert for the task at hand, and some of his most potent lessons were taught while his disciples were already on to the next task. I see Jesus walking through a crowd, with the disciples clearing the way for him. They look back to find that he not behind them anymore ...because he has stopped to spit on the ground and bring sight to a man they had walked by without a glance.

Remember when he was teaching in the crowded house? He stopped midsentence (not like he had a ton of choice, what with roof falling on his head), took on the task that was presented and healed a crippled man. He was there, in the moment where he was.

Do you think he got irritated when a better task arouse? Doesnt seem like it based on the telling of the stories. When his disciples were done for the day, Jesus stayed in the moment and used their need for food to teach them about God's power and provision.

There is peace, in being here; in seeking for God's work in the right now. There is peace in accepting that you are where God needs you to be. That requires, of course, that we constantly seek for where we are to be and make sure that we living a life that is for the purpose of glorifying Him.

When we look around and see that we arent where God wants us, it does our spirits good to seek we where we augh to be. Even in that, we have to focus on what the next step from here is.

I pray that your here is full of peace, and that you find God there. I pray that you are able to rest in the moment as God has created it, and that you accept whatever task you have to do in that moment.

"For tomorrow has enough trouble of its own ..." Matt. 6:34 ..."but seek first his kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." 6:33

Week 11: DeStress Relationships

Relationships with those around us are imperative to a deep relationship with God. It has always been part of his plan, that we come to know Him better through sharing with others, and encouraging each other with His promises. He uses each of us, to bring each of us closer to Him.

He desires a closeness with our brothers and sisters in Christ, and blesses those relationships with peace ..."Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:2-3

Related to stress and the use of our resources, relationships require a tremendous amount of resource, which often leads to stress. Remember, stress happens when resources aren't
available for reason or another for accomplishing what we need to. That relates to relationships when we desire or feel the need to have a certain type of relationship with someone and their simply is not the resource for it.

Whether it be our marriages, relationships with our children, sisters, friends ..whatever the case maybe. We need resources to nurture relationships with them. Often, we are unbalanced in which relationships we use our resources on. We often give resources, whether willingly or because it is demanded of us, to relationships that may be the best use of those resources if you consider that each and every resource is to be used for God's service.

Even Christian relationships often need to be evaluated. Some relationships with other Christian women, may not be the best use of the resources of our time, mental energy, emotional energy, or influence.

I can honestly say, that about 99% of my relationships are with Christian woman and men. Some of those relationships have to be monitored for use of my resources at times.

Some examples of when relationships may be using more resource than they need to be ..thus taking away from the relationships you need to be focusing on, or using your resources in other ways:

A christian sister whose friendship brings emotional turmoil, constant strife or conflict for some reason. ..Often, for no reason other than we have different perspectives, we may not get along with some people. Sometimes, a relationship, though we desire it on some level (because you need a friend, or you feel they need your friendship), simply is not worth the drain on resources. Being able to let a relationship like that go, is sometimes the best for your effectiveness in Christ.

A christian friend who asks or demands of your time, energy or efforts constantly ...we all know people like this, who demand of us beyond what we can give. For the sake of "service" we give to the point of bitterness or frustration. Often, we need to set healthy boundaries with these sisters, and be at peace with saying "no" when you really dont have what they need (without taking from those who you need to give it to the most).

A christian, or non-christian friend who is not an encouraging influence on your mind or spirit ...we all know that the people who we spend our time, energy and efforts on and with can influence us very strongly. Often, a relationship with someone who causes you to be weak in an area (i.e., gossip, negative thinking) may need to be limited for the sake of your own relationship with God.

A christian sister whose company and relationship you enjoy so much that you take resources from those who you need to be giving it to ...sometimes we need to create boundaries to save us from ourselves :) When we so much enjoy someone's company we may be tempted to give them more than we can really afford in terms of our resources.


These are just some of the relationships that you may need to be on the look out for as you seek to determine if you are using all your resources the best way possible.

____

I hope that you are able to identify areas that you are giving too much, and the areas that you are not giving enough. I pray that you are finding peace as you seek to make all the resources that God has blessed you with, to His glory.

As we wrap up this study ..it has been a great 12 weeks! I hope that you found something that was helpful and beneficial for your walk with the Lord. I know I have learned a ton!

So, in closing ..."Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you. " 2 Thessalonians 3:16

Resource Managment: Home

Our home can be a wonderful resource in the hands of our Creator. He has molded the idea of home since the beginning, when he gave Adam Eve and gave them children. That concept of home is something that is found throughout scripture, and so also the ways that God intends to use our homes.

As a teaching arena ..."These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." Deut 6:6-7.

There are so many things that our children are to learn from the protected environment of a Christian home. From there, we model godly marriage, godly conflict management, appropriate godly behavior, morals ...etc. The list is endless.

As a place to strengthen our family members ... All members of our families need to feel that home is place where they can come to recharge, remember the goals and be empowered. Of course, not all homes are like this ...but when God is there, the Spirit will move powerfully through its occupants.

Through our homes we can help our husbands to be stronger for their own personal battles, by provided a place where they can relax, be encouraged, be affirmed and their needs provided for. All these leads to stronger men, more godly fathers, and loving partners.

As a safe and protected place ...as a friend of mine put it, "a safe haven, where the filter of what their parents think is appropriate" for their safety and character development. So many homes nowadays lack this very important element. Making our homes havens of rest, protection and calm is an important use of this resource.

There are so many ways that we can use our homes to glorify God ..these are just a couple that come to mind quickly. Any other thoughts?

Week 10: DeStress the Home

This post was orginally posted on June 24, 2008

_____

So much of my stress starts at home. I know that I am not the only one whose mood and attitude are determined by her surroundings. Chaos in my home breeds chaos of mind, spirit and body.

Destressing our homes is a long process. Certainly, it cant be dealt with in one post (or at least not one any of us would want to sit and read :) but we can attack it alittle at a time.

First, I have become aware during the study by Elizabeth Green (Life Management for Busy Women) how important it is to LOVE our homes. Just like the Proverbs 31 woman who set about with active passion to building her home, we need to be passionate about our homes.

Our homes are the launching pad for our very important work for the God we serve. Its the base for our fundatmental teachings our children will leave home with. Its the haven they, he and we will return to for rest. Its an active school for teaching and learning vital lessons of God's love and His truth.

Its an important place.

Its takes work and passion to maintain and develop it into something more than four walls. It is not a passive process, but an active one where you as the "Home Manager" are constantly aware of what the residents' needs are, and how they are met. Its a place which is worth the stress and energy to make a haven of peace for your family.

So, we first must realize who important our homes are. And, how important it is that our homes are a place of peace, and not a generator of stress for those who belong there.

A home at peace breeds less stress for everyone involved, breeding a better enviroment for learning and teaching of those therin.

So, where do we start?

First, I would suggest that you ponder for a moment what about your home as whole breeds choas, or lack of peace.

Is it the clutter?

Is it the noise level?

Is it the lack of being there? Or being there too much?

Is it not asthetically appealing to you?

Is it lonely?

Too overwhelming of tasks to be done?

Is it boring?

Is it a reminder of other stresses?

Are there conflictual relationships?

We cant make a plan until we understand the source of stress itself.

Some of these cant be fixed with a simple anecdote or list of strategies. Some of them need careful attention and prayer to improve. Some of these need a prayer of change of perspective, change of heart, or renewed passion.

I will pray that you, dear friend, are able to find the direction you need to find your way through those stresses.

___

These things are an effort, one that is well worth the work it will involve.

When it comes to the home and all the things that we do there, from the glorious to the less than glorious, we need to remember that we are doing it for the Lord. We are managing the resource of our homes to the glory of our Father. We do not serve the little people or the big ones in our homes, but He who have us our homes to start with :)

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, ²⁴since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving" Colossians 3:23-24

Resource Management: Saying No

This was originally posted August 15th, 2008
___

How many of us have a problem with this?

I know I do..or used to, rather. With this focus on destressing , this is a huge battleground for me!

I have to say that I have had a few things that have moved me to getting really good at this. First, watching so many of the people around me struggle with being overwhelmed with the things they commit to. I see them committing to things they dont want to do, dont have time for, and have a hard time fitting into their already stressful schedule. This is motivation for me.

Another thing, is having gone through the book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend titled "Boundaries" ..great book. It have me so much insight into why we say yes, and how to say no. It gave me some great pointers on how to change my thinking when it comes to placing boundaries (not walls), so that I dont see it as pushing people away, hurting others, etc. Its a great motivator as well!

Then, and finally, I found that frankly..there are alot of other things I would rather be doing besides the stuff I dont want or need to do! :)

Since beginning this destress quest I have really focused on clearing my time of the things that cause me stress.

Obviously, we cant eliminate everything we dont like (my first thing to go would be laundry), but we can get rid of the things that arent beneficial to us, our family, or our purpose.

Thinking this way has helped me so much! I have been able to say no alot more, and with a clear conscious! I dont mind telling others who offer for me to do great things, "I am not able to do that right now, but thank you so much for thinking of me!"

I have turned down fun playdates because it wasnt best for the kids. I have turned down two opportunities to serve on a regular basis with the childrens ministry at church, which would take me away from service 100% when I combine it with other responsibilities. I have declined being responsible for great programs at church, because I have other areas I am more passionate about. I chose not to participate in out-of-the-house activities more than one night a week (not counting church nights)...all because it helps me put my time to the best use toward my purpose and goals!

Sometimes, as a friend reminds me often, we must say no to good things, so that we can say yes to things that are even better.

Saying a gentle, thought out, and firm "no" allows us to balance this life better. It takes practice, but it gets easier!

One last thought to leave you with. A very helpful illustration that I brought from my Boundaries study is that when we go to the dentist we hurt from the things he does, right? But, in the end we are not injured. This, we can apply to saying no to others. While they may not like that we are saying no, or try to make us feel bad about it..in the end they are not harmed by our choices.

I pray for you this week, that you have the ability to prioritize your time, say no when its appropriate, and do it such a way that you feel DESTRESSED!

Week 9: DeStress our Time

Time is one of those tricky ones. It is something that we cannot pay for, sell or get back. Its not one of those things we have alot of control over, except in terms of how we manage it.

Considering that stress happens when we are lacking in the necessary resources we need to accomplish something we feel needs done, the lack of time can be a big stressor!

We need to consider how we use our time, just as much as how we use our bodies, our minds or anything else. We need to consider where each moment is going, and how much of it is not being used properly.

Now, "properly" doesnt mean that we cant take moments to refresh our bodies, spirits and relationships. It doesnt mean that we cannot take time to giggle with girlfriends, or have a nice chat with your mom where you talk about nothing of consequence. It doesnt rule out naps, a cuddle time with the hubby in front of a chick flick, or scrapbooking.

But, remember that in all things "...whatever you do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. " Colossians 3:23

There are lots of things in our days that are filled with things and moments spent that couldnt qualify as "in the name of the Lord Jesus". Right?

You may not know for sure. Being aware is the first step in getting that resource properly managed. Its being aware of where your time is going, where it needs to go, where its being misused, where its being overspent ..its about knowing and being aware.

Knowing what your priorities are, is a huge part of being able to manage your time well. What is it that is important to you? What should be? What things need to be considered when trying to weed unnessessary time-wasters out of the picture? Who needs to be considered?

So, write them down. Write down your priorities. See them in black and white. Refresh them, change them, focus on them and know them. When you are faced with things that could use your time, do they fit in with what is important to you?

Also, consider if there are good things that you are doing, to the detriment of better things. Scrapbooking is great, but does the husband need some attention more than that page needs doing? The internet is awesome, but do the kids need more attention than facebook does?

If you need wisdom regarding where your time needs to go, "ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without condemnation" James 1:5. But just a warning ..if you ask God to show you where you need to change your schedule to better suite his plans for your life, he may ask you to give up things you dont want to :)